Today marks six weeks since we found out that our baby’s heart stopped beating just shy of ten weeks old. Some moments the pain is so fresh that it seems as though it happened just days ago, and yet there are other moments, where Ben and I look at one another and cannot believe all that has happened since that day. While some may not understand the pain that we are experiencing, and many may dismiss a miscarriage as “a part of life”, they certainly, have not experienced a pain such as this. The day Ben and I found out that we were expecting, we became parents. We may not have a child on earth to hold, but one day we will hold this child– and one day our first child will call us “mom and dad”.
While Ben and I have had to hear the few and far between “it is just part of lifes”, we have truly been overwhelmed by the tears that have been shed with us, and the friends and family that have helped us carry our burden– even when they don’t always know what to say. There may not always be words to say to comfort people in sadness, but if we love one another, shouldn’t we just simply do that– love?
Liam! Baby boy to our dear friends that brought us dinners & baby love.
Yesterday, I was speaking with a friend who had asked how Ben and I were doing. I realized in my answer that I continued to share how grateful we are for our friends and family during this time. I have always tried my best to “carry” the burdens of others, but until six weeks ago, I do not really think I understood what that meant. An hour after coming home from the ultrasound appointment, there was a knock at the door, this was Megan– the one who allowed us to cry and then in our tears, could not stop her own.
This sweet chick had a basket on our front porch when we came home from surgery.
Thirty minutes later, we see a car, this was another Megan– dropping off lunch and dinner (all healthy, I might add to show how well she knows me). As I step onto the porch to give her a hug, she looks up, a red face and eyes full of tears promising me that He has a plan. We begin to eat the lunch that was so graciously needed in that moment, and I look over to see the first Megan unloading my dishwasher before she leaves to go back to work. Not long after this, my family comes over crying and praying with us.
Eastern Shore trip with some of our sweetest gifts!
My surgery was at 5:30am at WakeMed the next morning. At 6am, our dear friend, Clark, comes in and sits with us to pray before the surgery. Our doorbell did not stop ringing that day as I was recovering– flowers (a lot of flowers), edible arrangements from co-workers, meals from our small group friends, and birthday cake milkshakes from my parents (because they know the way to their daughter’s heart). The next day, Ben’s parents came, they did our grocery shopping, cooked for us, and over the laundry that my mother-in-law folded– cried with me sharing in my same pain that she once knew. This is only a glimpse of what the people that we love have done to help us carry this burden.
Sometimes carrying a burden can come in the form of chicken salad and dishes.
This Christmas we are grateful that our first child is in the arms of our Savior, and for our friends and family that remind us of that daily.
Snyder Sets Sail 